


Cold Feet

by Ravxnclaw



Category: Jacksepticeye RPF, Markiplier RPF, Youtube RPF
Genre: Boys In Love, Cold Feet, Cutie Jack, Fluff, Idiots in Love, M/M, Nervous Mark, nothing but fluff, pre-wedding jitters, shameless fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-29 01:45:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6353956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravxnclaw/pseuds/Ravxnclaw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mark's getting cold feet before his big day</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cold Feet

I can't do it, I have to bolt. I have to get out of here before I let both of us make the biggest mistakes of our lives. I can't let him shackle himself to me forever, I'm a ticking time bomb and my medical history is the only proof I need.  
I didn't want to get close to him, but his laugh even through his videos had been beyond infectious. I'd felt my heart race just from watching him play those indie horror games that had been such a stepping stone for both of us, the nervous laugh that always accompanied a jump scare stealing my heart from the first moment.  
I can already imagine the sea of faces waiting for me, everyone watching me sweat and possibly hurt the one person that I love more than anyone. I can still see his smile when I think about him, the first thing that made me sure that he was something special.  
My hands shake as is struggle to roll up the sleeves of my blazer, the pen slick with my sweat. I don't know what to write other than his name, the letters coming out uneven and blurred by my damp hand.  
**Jack, ******  
I don't know what there is to say. _Sorry to do this through a note but I'm breaking your heart to keep from breaking your heart?_ no, too sarcastic. Don't be an asshole. _I love you too much to spend my life with you?_  
"Mark." The voice is soft and I jump, my numb hands shoving the note into my pocket. No one can know, they would all hate me. I can't tell them.  
"Hey," I force a smile to my face and wish that I had a free hand to wipe the immense amount of sweat away from my face. From the expression on Ryan's face I can tell that I look suspicious.  
"What's up?" He takes a step in, securely closing the door behind himself and it's like the clothes are choking me. I can't breathe. I want to gasp for air, to escape into the outside world but he's blocking the door.  
"Ryan I can't do this." I suck in a deep breath of air, holding my hands out in front of myself as if I'm admitting to a crime. "I can't do this to him, I can't ask him to move his whole life he's going to hate me-"  
"He loves you."  
"For now. I can't marry him and love him just to have him end up hating me, he's going to leave someday and I can't do that I _can't_ watch him leave me."  
"Just walk out there." His hands hold my shoulders and I stare at him, trying to gather myself. "Just walk. Don't think about anything other than walking, then standing. You don't actually have to do too much."  
"What if he doesn't show?" I whisper, my breath heaving violently at the thought. Oh god he must have figured this out so much earlier than me and I'm going to be left up there alone in front of our friends and family..  
Just like I was going to leave him.  
Guilt rakes through my body and I want to vomit and scream all at once. I was going to leave him and I'm worrying about him leaving me? Ryan's looking at me like I'm insane and maybe I am. How can someone like him want to stay with me, knowing that if I even drink too much my body could shut down on me?  
"Just walk." He repeats, clapping his hand on my shoulder before he takes his leave.  
I zone out, letting my mind wander back to the channel, to the viewers, to the most recent games that I need to play. I keep my eyes unfocused as I struggle through the rows of people, wishing that they could all just look at something, anything else.  
My mind is overflowing with scenarios of Jack storming out, screaming at me, hating me for bringing him so far from his home just for him to change his mind about me, and I almost don't notice him.  
He raises his eyebrows at me from the doorway, his laugh reaching my ears and my doubts are pushed down, coming secondary to that smile. He shoves a hand in his pocket as he saunters toward me, his cheeks flushed nervously but the smile on his face is so natural that I'm yearning to grab onto him and anchor myself.  
He pushes his freshly dyed hair away from his face and I find myself remembering the first picture I saw of it, when I was only able to see his smile through a screen. As I see him walking toward me, his perfectly blue eyes watching me and his teeth tugging nervously at the skin of his lip it's hard to imagine my life when I woke up next to a phone screen full of messages instead of his warm, cuddly body.  
As he stands in front of me I feel myself smiling despite the anxiety coursing through my system. He chuckles and leans in, his lips brushing my cheek and it's the most perfect feeling. His lips part and I already want to kiss him right in front of everyone, to make myself believe that somehow I'm worthy of his love.  
"Is that a pen in your pocket, or do I just look _that_ good in a suit?" His voice and touch are fleeting, barely registering in my brain before he's standing straight again, his attention on the minister. I feel my face flushing and he sneaks me a grin, a warmth spreading through my chest and it's as if he's washed my worries from my brain.  
Technically it is a pen, the same pen that is probably still wet based on how sweaty my palms are, but he looks so good in the suit I can't even form a coherent response.  
I can't listen to the words and vows that are surely beautiful and I feel like a teenager as I stare at him. I want to sear every waggle of his eyebrows and every mouthed obscenity into my brain, the little chuckles that graced me throughout the ceremony reminding me of what I'm doing. I don't know what stupid joke he just muttered but I see him motion a thrust at me and I feel like I'm falling in love with him all over again.  
I want nothing more than to hold him to myself, to kiss him and hug him and make him feel like the most loved man in the entire world. His eyes meet mine and he smirks, all of my attention sucked in by the most captivating blue eyes I've ever seen.  
He's laughing again and his cold fingers are grabbing mine, my brain finally tuning back into reality after being so lost in him. He pushes his green hair from his face and I'm so achingly in love with even the tiniest of his habits that I dread the day he realizes that I'm not good enough for him.  
"I do." He says loudly, the chill of metal meeting my skin as the wedding band rests on my finger, his hand not letting go of mine.  
Oh god, it's my turn. My anxiety comes rushing back and I miss his finger twice, horrible thoughts gathering inside my head once more.  
"Come on Mark," he whispers and I'm swooning over the way my voice sounds like _Merk_ in his perfectly dumb Irish accent, "thread the needle."  
His forehead touches mine as we watch the ring slide onto his finger, my stomach turning at the thought of him casting me away, wondering when the next mystery illness is going to strike me and deciding that he doesn't want to be around for it.  
"I do."  
I probably should have waited for the speeches to end but I can't. I drag his lips to mine, needing to touch him to keep the thoughts at bay. The hastily started note in my pocket crinkles as I hold his body against mine with just a little too much fervor.  
I don't hear the music or the words of congratulations, all I hear is his laugh. He throws his arms up into the air just as he'd always done at the end of his videos, that captivating smile on his face that takes away all of my attention.  
I hold his face in my hands, his unbelievably blue eyes meeting mine and he laughs again. I want nothing more than to be able to express the bursting love that I have for him within me, to make him believe that no matter what happens I will always do what's best for him, to make him forgive me for even thinking about walking away from him.  
"Love you Mark." He whispers and I want to cry. He's so pure and wonderful and I hate the thought of him leaving me.  
"I love you too, you stupid Irish potato."  
  
  
"You look so _dumb!_ "   
As he flips through the pictures his chuckles fill the living room, and it's enough to keep me from caring that my stupid face is the reason he's laughing. The wedding photos had turned out great, especially if an editor would be able to blur me out and focus solely on Jack. He'd actually been mentally present, his smile clear unlike mine as I looked like a dope staring at him.   
"You're dumb." I grumble, feeling his head rest on his shoulder.   
"You don't look very happy." He looks up at me as if it's a thought he's been holding onto for a long time, his eyes thoughtful behind the new glasses.   
"I was nervous." I plant a kiss on the top of his head, watching as he continues through all of the pictures that feature him smiling and looking perfect and me looking like a nervous kid standing to his first crush. He'd been my beacon of comfort in the stress of that day, his hand never straying far from mine as he tugged me along, my eyes always locked on him like some lost puppy dog.   
"That's cute."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to anyone who read this, hope you enjoyed! I always need ideas for things to write on, if you have any prompts or ideas you'd like me to write for you please let me know, I always appreciate help!


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